FROM THE DISSERTATION BY MARTINA TURRIZIANI, UNIVERSITY OF ROME III, OCTOBER 2006:
MAXIMS THAT THE BRITISH SEEM TO SAY TO THEMSELVES:
Be
considerate: recognize people's needs even before they express them
directly.
If
the other party refuses to understand your hints, be direct (even
VERY direct).
your
word is your word, and appointments are to be respected.
no
one is the centre of the universe: changing the time of an
appointment for personal needs must come after reciprocal agreement
friendly
relations are friendly relations and business is business, don't mix
them.
you
can haggle over prices in the street, never in a proper store where
accounting is rigorous.
let
him or her decide what to reveal about his/her private life.
asking
questions about other people’s private life is impolite and
invasive
organizing
one's own life by depending on other people at the last moment is an
imposition.
asking
a person to sacrifice a lot of time and effort is unusual if you are
not friends
learn
neither to give nor to ask for help if you can possibly arrange
things on your own.
One
should restrain external displays of emotion: they are private.
Express
feelings only if the other party desires you to do so.
Not
controlling one's emotions can be a cause of embarrassment for
others.
MAXIMS THAT THE ITALIANS SEEM TO SAY TO THEMSELVES:
Say
directly how you feel, share your feelings and people will share
theirs.
If
you have to do so, prepare people with many repeated explanations,
in advance..
Expect
that the other party shares your desire to socialize at length as
“natural”.
socialization
is more important than respecting time mechanically.
exceptions
on time are normal and tolerated if due to friendly encounters
it is
impolite to refuse a coffee break as a way of consolidating
relationships.
a
friendly relationship authorizes you to expect “special
treatment.”
friendship
and good will comes before money, especially if the sum is small.
showing
interest in the life of people you meet is a sign of politeness.
asking
questions about other people’s lives is expected and tolerated
sharing
one's personal affairs is quite usual and a way to get to know
others better (they usually reciprocate).
helping
others is a way of socializing, of entering into the other person's
life and concerns.
asking
for help and obtaining it is normal and expected: after all, one day
YOU may need help.
some
kinds people in particular situations need more help than others: so
be considerate.
Physical
manifestations are the natural way to express inner feelings.
Physical
manifestations are generally accepted, expected and appreciated.